AVA Law Group
SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD Sexual Abuse
Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA) often say that telling someone what happened to them was even worse than the nightmare itself. Not only do they have to re-live the panoply of memories, senses and emotions but they experience the shame of seeing it through someone else’s eyes. Someone they feel vulnerable with.
Does it come as any surprise, according to a study published by the National Library of Medicine, that almost 45% of sexual abuse victims never report what happened ever, and as few as 16% of children do so before the age of 18?
AVA LAW GROUP PROTECTS FAMILIES LIKE YOURS
Herein lies the agonizing dilemma the personal injury attorneys at AVA Law Group face. We want to make this agonizing process of remembering — something that the human psyche is hard-wired to avoid — as painless as possible for your child. Yet, it is often the smallest, most searing details which enable us to achieve the most powerful legal result.
We don’t put monsters in jail ourselves, but we sure do hold the institutions that protect those monsters accountable and that keeps other children from getting hurt. We have done that with the Mormon Church, Catholic Church and Boy Scouts of America and we will do that for your family if someone has hurt your baby.
If you have questions about this process or want to share any private concerns you may have, please call us at 800-777-4141. The call is absolutely free and confidential. We are here 24/7.
WHY IS DISCLOSURE SO HARD?
Most sexual childhood abuse involves a ‘grooming process’ which means the victim is manipulated into becoming an unknowing but willing participant. That’s why they will feel shame because in their minds they consented to what happened or even caused it. Very often, perpetrators instill a deep layer of fear, tricking the child into believing something very bad will happen if they tell anyone what happened.
Sometimes, the child is made to believe they will be outed, nothing will happen to the adult, and they will be ridiculed or teased for alleging something so ridiculous. As we know all too well, the monster is frequently in a place of respect and authority, thus confusing the child. How could someone wearing a uniform, with such an honorable job, someone your grandparents adore, ever do something so wrong?
Shame, fear, guilt, scorn, ridicule, ostracization. And you’re 10 years old? Sounds like hell doesn’t it?
THE KEY IS What Happens Next
Even when the child works up the courage to speak, who they confide in and how the news is received is pivotal. Frequently it is a peer. Children need to be educated on what to do and say not only if they are victimized but if a friend confides in them. Sometimes it is a sibling or parent. Family must learn the signs and not be inclined to doubt the child’s accusation. If an authority figure is being involved, we can’t pretend that person might even cover up the confession if it is their own colleague or institution being accused. If the police are involved it’s essential, they handle the process with the same level of sensitivity they would for an adult who suffered a sexual assault, or in many cases, better.
The bottom line is a child’s healing is stunted and they can be retraumatized for life if they are doubted, shamed or shunned at this juncture. If the child learns that the accused, went unpunished it reinforces for life that bad people get away with doing bad things to good people. Why should a survivor speak up if they don’t feel in their gut something will happen and they are right!
WE HAVE TWO JOBS to Do For You
Let us be clear. We’re not in this to only win lawsuits. We want our clients to begin to replace something precious that was stolen from them. It has been shown that the short and long-term consequences of CSA can be reduced substantially with early treatment, but that only happens after telling someone. The primal need to feel believed, rebuild trust and not feel alone means everything to all of us, especially a child.
When you tell us what has happened, you can bet we’re going to do something about it for you. If your child works up the courage to say something that doesn’t sit right and it lines up with these criteria, we can’t urge you more strongly to listen and listen closely.
If you have questions about this process or want to share concerns you may have, please call us at 800-777-4141. The call is free. Please visit Signs of CSA to learn what to look for.
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